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Saying you’re going to divorce your husband every time you fight is a manipulative thought.
it makes you feel relieved as if its a better way,
like you’d be better off without him
it makes you feel in control
It makes you feel like he’ll change if you keep threatening to leave him
But you forget, you may FEEL like you want to leave him, but you don’t actually want to.
Feeling like you want to leave him isn’t the same as actually wanting to leave him
there’s a small gap, and the gap is
You still wish there was something you could do so your marriage could go back to how it was before the kids.
You’re using the threat of you leaving/divorcing him as a shield to manipulate him.
You might not even be doing this on purpose.
It might feel like you’re doing something positive to make him change his behaviour, but you’re actually just increasing his insecurities.
He could be thinking that he can’t rely on you anymore since you might leave him at any time.
He’s probably stopped being himself around you because he feels like he’s walking on eggshells when he’s with you.
This manipulative technique is damaging both you and him, and most importantly, your marriage.
I know you don’t say it because you actually want to, but you feel like it’s the only card you have left to use.
Deep down, you want to make things better because you know he’s a good man, it’s only that he’s changed too much.
If this is you, let me invite you to learn a better strategy instead of these damaging mental games that damage your marriage.
Send me a DM with the word “emotions” and let’s have a chat.